In daycares and classrooms around the world, a familiar scene unfolds daily: a small child, tears in their eyes, clinging to their mothers with a surprisingly strong toddler’s grip as they refuse to let go.
Though separation anxiety in kids is a normal part of child development, it does make things very difficult when you’re trying to drop your child off at school or daycare. You’re late for work, your child is crying, and the teachers are just doing their best.
Here are some tips on how to navigate separation anxiety at drop-offs and make it easier and less anxiety-inducing for everyone involved.
Establish a Routine
Children thrive on routine. For the first few days, the drop-off will seem new and unexpected, so a bit of crying and clinging is natural. But if you make that drop-off as predictable as possible, your child will know what to expect, and this will reduce their anxiety. This includes everything from the sequence of events you follow to the time you arrive.
Positive Associations
The best way to calm your child down is to make the association as positive as possible. Talk about all the fun activities they’ll be doing while they’re there and how their teachers can help them. Let them know you’ll be back to pick them up at a specific time.
Bring Comfort Items
Children find comfort in things familiar to them. If they have a favorite toy or blanket at home, you can bring these to the daycare so they feel more secure about being away from home. Don’t forget to take it back with you, though!
Make the Goodbye Short & Sweet
When your child is crying, you may be tempted to stay as long as they need to calm down, but this can actually make things worse. Keep your goodbyes brief and reassuring. Lingering around or falling for the ‘one more minute’ just delays the inevitable and can make the anxiety worse.
Stay Calm
Children tend to pick up on your emotions. If you’re anxious or upset about being separated from your child, they will most likely feel the same way. If you stay calm and positive during the drop-off, your child will also feel calmer about the situation.
Communicate With the Caregivers
Sharing any specific concerns or information about your child’s likes, dislikes, and routines with the daycare staff can help. Good communication ensures that everyone is on the same page.
At Lil’ Children’s Workshop, our teachers bring your child in from the car in the morning. Letting them know if there are any issues will help make your child feel less anxious even before entering the daycare.
Offer Distractions
Sometimes, a fun activity or toy can be a helpful distraction during drop-off. Engage your child in a brief playtime before you leave to shift their focus away from your departure.
When our teachers come to pick up your child, start a conversation, including both your child and the teacher, so they feel more comfortable and engaged as they walk away.
Give it Time
Remember, separation anxiety is a normal phase of child development. Every child will adjust at their own pace – some may take more time than others. Go at your child’s pace, and be patient but persistent.
Eventually, as your child becomes more comfortable with the daycare environment, they won’t feel anxious about spending time away from you anymore.